test concentrate

I keep looking up, keep looking up, keep wanting, keep falling, heart keeps failing, i keep repeating, keep wanting, do it over and over, keep repeating.

My head is down again and the door to my left just flung open. I keep controlling, that reflex, almost reflex? That jerk to pop my head, up, to look, on in that cycle again, keep looking up…

There is someone babbling non-stop, droning voice, she keeps slurs, the ones that pinch my ears, keep getting distracted, keep getting tricked into looking up, but I’m getting better at this game, of looking away, looking into things on my lap instead.

Now they’s rambling about how they’s a good father but a bad parent, I cannot follow they’s words, neither do I know parents nor do I understand fathers. Not letting me concentrate, impossible to finish this rant.

Not letting me completely immerse myself in that dark glow, emanating from all those moments, around you. You’re still standing, still in the spotlight, still trying to talk and make sense, still learning to be yourself.

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